"Behind The Curtain"
THE ALLIUMINATI
Snail's Pace Productions LLC
Humorous Illustrated Stories
Featuring The Bizzy Buddies ®
The Alliuminati began as a secret society to "promote irrational thinking, stupidity, superstition, obscurantism, religious influence over public life, and abuses of state power.
Today the Alliuminati are the glitterati of the so-called Global eLeeks. This stratospheric level of high-rank is achieved only by the richest (and most corrupt) in the world.
The upper crusty echelon of The Cryptocracy...they are The Nasty Masters hiding Behind The Curtain.
Senator Dick Tate shows up at the annual World Turd Forum to rub elbows and grease palms of the Alliuminati and the Global eLeeks. Nothing like green money and blackmail to win friends and influence enemies! ➔
"The Nasty Masters"
Humans that worship money are in danger of giving away their power and free will to the Global eLeeks and the corrupt Politicians.
The Nasty Masters →
"Rules For Thee..."
Rules for thee.. but not me! (according to THEM) They are no better than anyone else. They're rotten veggies... the Global eLeeks!
Rules For Thee... →
"The Social Trapezoid"
Forget about being the cream at the top of 'The Social Pyramid'. Nowadays you want to be at the top of the heap on 'The Social TRAPezoid'!
The Social Trapezoid →
"Down The Rabbit Hole"
The Global eLeeks make lots of 'promises' about climate and energy to the gullible public. If it sounds too good to be true... it probably ISN'T!
Down The Rabbit Hole →
"The Alliuminati"
The upper crusty echelon of secret society... the Alliuminati is far more dangerous, obnoxious and STINKY than the infamous Illuminati!
The Alliuminati →
"The Eye Of Improvidence"
You are being watched by the Reptilians... The Eye of Improvidence, depicted as a single eye within a trapezoid surrounded by a search light.
The Eye Of Improvidence →
"Saul Fuhr III"
Saul Fuhr III, the richest trillionaire in the world, so stinky and mean he won't let his servants even LOOK at him... not that they'd even want to!
Saul Fuhr III →
"Aleek The Leek"
This little sneaky weak leek is the snooty, snotty scion of the richest trillionaire in the world Saul Fuhr III and heir apparent to his father's evil legacy.
Aleek The Leek →
"The Plant Kingdom"
Plants are mean and vicious creatures... only out for themselves. Everyone of them thinks THEY are the one and only KING!
The Plant Kingdom →
"The Power Plant"
Who (or WHAT) is in charge at the Power Plant? Little does the citizenry know... but they are being run by The Power Plant in more ways than one!
The Power Plant →
"The Global eLeeks"
These limp, soggy, overdone veggies are NOT elite. They are no better than anyone else. They're rotten leeks... the Global eLeeks!
The Global Eleeks →
"Count Gruesome"
Forget about his countstituents! Count Gruesome cares only about his oily coiffed hair and designer socks and power and money and BLOOD!
Count Gruesome →
"The Puppet Master"
Ironically enough... a stinky, rotten fetid garlic bulb is in charge of grooming a sleazy, oily vampire to become leader of the wanna-be soon-to-not-be free world.
The Puppet Master →
"Tales From The Cryptocracy"
A cryptocracy is a government where secret leaders hold the power. The public leaders aren't in control; the true decision-makers are hidden.
Tales From The Cryptocracy →
"The Deep Steak"
The Deep Steak is a ruthless herd of meat-heads charged with protecting the reputation of political figure-heads like Count Gruesome.
The Deep Steak →
"County Ultra Security Surveillance"
The County Ultra Security Surveillance (CUSS) is waiting, watching and working alongside The Deep Steak to keep an EYE on YOU!!!
County Ultra Security Surveillance CUSS →
"Skeletons In The Closet"
Let's open the doors and find all the piles of skeletons hiding in the closets of the Global Eleeks and the politicians.
Skeletons In The Closet →
"The Development Party"
The Development Party supports growing business and tourism in Allium County. Their focus is making money... lots of money... for THEMSELVES!
The Development Party →
"The Great Reboot"
The limp, rotten Global eLeeks attending the World Turd Form (WTF) are proponents of the The Great Reboot to support the New World Disorder.
The Great Reboot →
"The Boulderfella Family"
These bottom-feeders inherited their fast-food fortune through acquisition of burger joints like "Build-A-Burger" and other various nefarious investments.
The Boulderfella Family →
"The New World Disorder"
The New World Disorder is promoted by the World Turd Form to create a corrupt, totalitarian, one-world government that strips individual liberties.
The New World Disorder →
"Der Potatokopf"
Billionaire Der Potatokopf started the World Turd Forum to galvanize the Global eLeeks into promoting the New World Disorder and The Great Reboot.
Der Potatokopf →
"World Turd Forum WTF"
Every year the Global eLeeks meet at the World Turd Forum, an international 'stink-tank' sharing ideas to turn the world into a big giant turd.
World Turd Forum WTF →
"You Will Own Nothing"
You will own nothing... no house, no car, no privacy. You will be free from responsibility. You will be taken care of. You won't have to think for yourself.
You Will Own Nothing →
"Let Them Eat Cake!"
As long as it's full of high-fructose corn syrup, canola oil, partially hydrogenated fats, red dye #3, potassium bromate, MSG, BHA, BHT, nitrites, nitrates...
Let Them Eat Cake! →
"The World's Best Protein"
The Global eLeeks are busy buying up all the farmland so they can create a food shortage and then kill all the bugs to make BUG PROTEIN for the masses!
The World's Best Protein →
"World Health and Tyranny"
The WHAT directs health emergency responses, promotes healthier lives and aims to ensure the highest level of health for all Global eLeeks.
World Health And Tyranny WHAT →
"Obaaaaay...!"
You will follow orders. You have no free will. You must do as we tell you. We are weak stupid vegetables but we have more money and influence than you.
Obaaaaay...! →
"Ovis Virus"
A new dread disease, the Ovis virus, escapes from a scientific laboratory and its affliction causes the sufferer to bleat like a sheep instead of talk.
Ovis Syndrome →
"Ovis Vaccine"
The cure for the Ovis virus is a vaccine made from the urine of sheep that eat leeks. The main drawback... it makes the sufferer smell like an old barnyard!
Ovis Vaccine →
"Either Ur IN or Ur OUT!"
Everyone is required to get the Ovis vaccine. No one's quite sure what exactly is in that syringe but the main ingredient is sheep urine!
Either UrIN or UrOUT! →
"The Scales Of Injustice"
There is no such thing as the Scales of Justice in this political world when the Scales of Injustice is far more profitable (according to the Global eLeeks)
The Scales Of Injustice →
"Senator Dick Tate"
Senator Dick Tate is like a dog being trained with promises of money and power. He is being curried by the Global eLeeks to win the future election!
Senator Dick Tate →
"The Senator's New Clothes"
Senator Dick Tate uses tax-payer money (of course) and hires Tatu the tattoo artist to design his campaign wardrobe with disastrous results!
The Senator's New Clothes →
"The Shadow Government"
The Reptilians in the Shadow Government lurk behind the curtains of power, whispering into the ears of the corrupt politicians and Global eLeeks.
The Shadow Government →
"The UN-United Nations"
This inter-governmental organization is 'supposed' to maintain global peace, security, cooperation, protect human rights and prevent conflict.
The UN-United Nations →
"The NGOs - Non Good Organizations"
Focusing on human rights, climate and health, NGOs are "non-profits" receiving government funding and run by cream-at-the-top siphoning "professionals".
The NGOs No Good Organizations →
"WikiLeeks"
Tweet! Tweet! Let's blow some whistles on the fraud and corruption pertaining to government officials and their unsavory co-horts in Allium County.
WikiLeeks →
"The Sword Of Damocles"
The ever-present peril hanging overhead by a thread... the constant threat of disaster and financial ruin that accompanies those wielding power.
The Sword Of Damocles →
"Knowledge Is Power"
Ignorance is NOT bliss when you use your free will indiscriminately and apathetically, letting the Global eLeeks take your power away from you.
Knowledge Is Power →
"The Poison Ivy League Universities"
Harvard, Yale and Princeton cannot even compete with the esteemed 'Leaves of Three' institutions of the Poison Ivy League university system.
Poison Ivy League Universities →
"Vile Evil Devil"
The Devil Himself doesn't like anyone, including himself (with good reason). Don't be a friend of the Devil... 'cos he sure as hell ain't a friend of YOU! ▲
The Devil Himself →
"The Bohemian Graveyard"
These lunatics like to congregate in Leekville Cemetery and dance around a giant vulture effigy with sheets over their heads while eating pizza. ▲
The Bohemian Graveyard →
"Weaving Spiders..."
The slogan of the Bohemian Graveyard lunatics is 'Weaving Spiders Don't Come Here' which means leave your baggage and gossip (and spiders) at home. ▲
Weaving Spiders... →
"The Minervan Vulture"
The Minervan Vulture is a 40-foot vulture effigy that the lunatics at The Bohemian Graveyard like to dance around when the moon is full. ▲
The Minervan Vulture →
"Hell I Feel Great"
Taking the path of least resistance and instant gratification can feel great at the time, but there is ALWAYS a cost, and sometimes it's totally unaffordable! ▲
Hell I Feel Great →
"The Reptilians"
No louche lounge lizards here... these Reptilian Aliens have control over the Alliuminati and the Global eLeeks.
The Reptilians →
"The Shape Shifters"
You see them shift before your eyes... your 'lying eyes' as 'they' would like you to believe. Please, you need to trust your instincts.
The Shape Shifters →
"Cookin' The Books"
It's getting hot in the kitchen at The Leaning Tower of Pizza... and it's not just pizzas being cooked! ▲
Cookin' The Books →
"A.I. Own You"
Eack time you download an app or make an online purchase many eyes will be watching you and all your info will go into the 'great database in the sky'. ▲
A.I. Own You →
"Damn The Dam!"
The NIMDYs living in Pleasant Façade Estates stand blindly behind damming Leek Lake so they can water their expensive landscaping.
Damn The Dam! →
"Global Warning"
The sun is sick and tired of being vilified as the 'villain' who is going to raise the Earth's temperature and kill everyone and everything on it.
Global Warning →
"Moon Madness"
Old Man Moon is very annoyed and insulted that humans associate him with nutty people who go crazy when the moon is full.
Moon Madness →
"The Lap Of Luxury"
Pretentious DeeDee Duncan just HAS to buy a hideously expensive purse from Ateliér Mércury. The money spent for it doesn't come from HER pocket though...
The Lap Of Luxury →
"Fiat Digital Economy"
A Fiat Digital Currency is a distrusted medium of exchange, or illegal tender, that is is backed by a storehouse of Fiat sportscars impounded at Fort Knoxious.
Fiat Digital Economy →
"Fort Knoxious"
The place where all the impounded Fiat sports cars, whose diminishing value back up our economy, are kept. Full of dented old cars and noxious gas fumes.
Fort Knoxious →
"The Criminal Preserve"
The central bank maintains national financial instability, providing monetary services for the government to the detriment of the tax-paying populace.
The Criminal Preserve →
"Curse Of The Leek Diamond"
Leekville lore has it that the Leek Diamond has an evil curse on it, and whoever has ever worn it... terrible things have happened to them!
The Curse Of The Leek Diamond →
"In Gold We Trust"
To some people, the only god is GOLD. Money and power are more important than love and kindness. This makes the Devil Himself happy.
In Gold We Trust →
"The Golden Sheep"
Forget about worshipping the Golden Calf... go to the Leekville Bank and worship at the altar of the Golden Sheep (for a hefty admission price).
The Golden Sheep →
"The Stocks Are Stacked"
