"Behind The Curtain"
HARDTURD UNIVERSITY - THE PORCUPINE CLUB
Snail's Pace Productions LLC
Humorous Illustrated Stories
Featuring The Bizzy Buddies ®
This fun-filled must-visit mall destination features 66 of your favorite (and not so favorite) ice cream flavors... including the tourist-targeted must-try "Leek Icecream".
Every Halloween there are a bunch of bohemian nutcases who congregate in Leekville Cemetery, in a weed-filled grove known as "The Bohemian Graveyard". They have pizza delivered from The Leaning Tower of Pizza and dance around a giant effigy of a vulture while wearing sheets over their heads. During this crazy ceremony they try contacting Ghosts with a Squeegee Board. Total bunch of lunatics!
The Fragmented United Countries (FUC) is not a body of united nations. This group is a proso-called Global Elites are NOT "elite"... they are rotten vegetables... eLEEKS, dim BULBS OF GARLIC and moldy old POTATOES. Don't let the Global eLeeks and the Potato Heads manipulate your mind, body and SOUL through fear tactics and technology. You have free will. The Global eLeeks are trying to take your FREE WILL away from you.
The Harvard University Porcellian Club (often called the "Porc" or "P.C.") is an incredibly exclusive, all-male undergraduate "final club" founded around 1791–1794, making it Harvard's oldest. It is known for its extreme secrecy, wealth, elite social status, and a "pig" theme (derived from Latin porcus) that stems from its origin as a "Pig Club".
Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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Key Details and Usage Examples:
Purpose & Reputation: Originally formed to escape poor dining hall food and share meals, it evolved into an elitist social institution for wealthy students.
Symbolism & Traditions: The club is nicknamed the "Pig Club." Members are known for wearing gold pig motifs on watch chains or ties. Its motto is Dum vivimus vivamus ("While we live, let us live").
Exclusivity: Known as "the most final of them all," it is often compared to Yale's Skull and Bones.
Distinguished Membership: Theodore Roosevelt is a notable former member.
Modern Context: It is located at 1324 Massachusetts Avenue and in 2016 made headlines for resisting the admission of women.
This Is The Title Yes It Is
Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE! t it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Ea
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The Cloud Of Surprise - "Cloud Shocked" ▶
surprised, shocked, astonished, amazed, stunned, bewidered, dumbfounded, started, jolted, speechless, overwhelmed, awestruck, disbelieving, unprepared, nonplussed, thunderstruck
amazement astonishment awe bewilderment consternation curiosity disappointment jolt miracle revelation shock wonder abruptness attack bombshell
disillusion epiphany eureka fortune godsend incredulity kick marvel miscalculation phenomenon portent precipitance precipitation precipitousness prodigy
rarity start stupefaction suddenness thunderbolt whammy wonderment
THE ASTRAL TRAVELERS
The Aliens are trying to help the Humans help themselves and keep safe from The Nasty Masters... but only if the Humans want the help.
The Alien Time Travelers ▶
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE! The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Cloud Of Surprise - "Cloud Shocked" ▶
surprised, shocked, astonished, amazed, stunned, bewidered, dumbfounded, started, jolted, speechless, overwhelmed, awestruck, disbelieving, unprepared, nonplussed, thunderstruck
amazement astonishment awe bewilderment consternation curiosity disappointment jolt miracle revelation shock wonder abruptness attack bombshell
disillusion epiphany eureka fortune godsend incredulity kick marvel miscalculation phenomenon portent precipitance precipitation precipitousness prodigy
rarity start stupefaction suddenness thunderbolt whammy wonderment
The Cloud Of Fear - "Cloud Scaredy-Cat" ▶
alarm angst anxiety apprehension awe concern despair desperation dismay doubt dread uneasiness horror jitters panic scare suspicion terror unease uneasiness worry abhorrence agitation apprehensiveness aversion consternation cowardice creeps discomposure disquietude distress faintheartedness fearfulness foreboding fright funk hesitation intimidation misgiving nervousness nightmare phobia presentiment qualm reverence revulsion timidity trembling trepidation worry
The Cloud Of Disgust - "Cloud Blech" ▶
annoyance antipathy appalled aversion bitterness dislike distaste displeasure hatred irritation loathing repulsion revulsion
abomination detestation nausea objection offensiveness repugnance revolt sickness surfeit
The Cloud Of Anger - "Cloud Loud" ▶
abhorrence acrimony aggravation anger animosity annoyance antagonism displeasure enmity enraged exasperation frustrated fury hatred hostility impatience incensed indignation ire irritation outrage passion rage resentment
temper violence chagrin choler conniption dander disapprobation distemper gall huff infuriation irascibility irritability livid loathe miff outrage peevishness petulance pique provoked rankling soreness stew storm tantrum tiff umbrage vexation wrath
This Is The Title Yes It Is
Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE! t it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Ea
This Is The Title Yes It Is
Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE! t it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth.. but it turns out
The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Ea
"The Nasty Masters"
Humans that worship money are in danger of giving away their power and free will to the Global eLeeks and the corrupt Politicians.
The Nasty Masters →
"Rules For Thee..."
Rules for thee.. but not me! (according to THEM) They are no better than anyone else. They're rotten veggies... the Global eLeeks!
Rules For Thee... →
"The Social Trapezoid"
Forget about being the cream at the top of 'The Social Pyramid'. Nowadays you want to be at the top of the heap on 'The Social TRAPezoid'!
The Social Trapezoid →
"Down The Rabbit Hole"
The Global eLeeks make lots of 'promises' about climate and energy to the gullible public. If it sounds too good to be true... it probably ISN'T!
Down The Rabbit Hole →
"The Alliuminati"
The upper crusty echelon of secret society... the Alliuminati is far more dangerous, obnoxious and STINKY than the infamous Illuminati!
The Alliuminati →
"The Eye Of Improvidence"
You are being watched by the Reptilians... The Eye of Improvidence, depicted as a single eye within a trapezoid surrounded by a search light.
The Eye Of Improvidence →
"Saul Fuhr III"
Saul Fuhr III, the richest trillionaire in the world, so stinky and mean he won't let his servants even LOOK at him... not that they'd even want to!
Saul Fuhr III →
"Aleek The Leek"
This little sneaky weak leek is the snooty, snotty scion of the richest trillionaire in the world Saul Fuhr III and heir apparent to his father's evil legacy.
Aleek The Leek →
"The Power Plant"
Who (or WHAT) is in charge at the Power Plant? Little does the citizenry know... but they are being run by The Power Plant in more ways than one!
The Power Plant →
"The Global eLeeks"
These limp, soggy, overdone veggies are NOT elite. They are no better than anyone else. They're rotten leeks... the Global eLeeks!
The Global Eleeks →
"Count Gruesome"
Forget about his countstituents! Count Gruesome cares only about his oily coiffed hair and designer socks and power and money and BLOOD!
Count Gruesome →
"The Puppet Master"
Ironically enough... a stinky, rotten fetid garlic bulb is in charge of grooming a sleazy, oily vampire to become leader of the wanna-be soon-to-not-be free world.
The Puppet Master →
"The Deep Steak"
The Deep Steak is a ruthless herd of meat-heads charged with protecting the reputation of political figure-heads like Count Gruesome.
The Deep Steak →
"County Ultra Security Surveillance"
The County Uber Security Surveillance (CUSS) is waiting, watching and working alongside The Deep Steak to keep an EYE on YOU!!!
County Ultra Security Surveillance CUSS →
"The Development Party"
The Development Party supports growing business and tourism in Allium County. Their focus is making money... lots of money... for THEMSELVES!
The Development Party →
"The Ecology Party"
The Ecology Party supports farming and climate sustainable practices. They have good intentions to protect Planet Earth but are somewhat gullible.
The Ecology Party →
"Senator Dick Tate's Campaign"
Senator Dick Tate's re-election strategy is rife with corruption and intrigue while he makes a disastrous campaign whistle-stop in Allium County.
Senator Dick Tate's Campaign →
"F.E.C.E.S."
How much cream at the top of the federal coffers is flushed down the toilet at the Federal Energy Commission of Environmental Studies?
F.E.C.E.S. →
"The Great Reboot"
The limp, rotten Global eLeeks attending the World Turd Form (WTF) are proponents of the The Great Reboot to support the New World Disorder.
The Great Reboot →
"The Boulderfella Family"
These bottom-feeders inherited their fast-food fortune through acquisition of burger joints like "Build-A-Burger" and other various nefarious investments.
The Boulderfella Family →
"The New World Disorder"
The New World Disorder is promoted by the World Turd Form to create a corrupt, totalitarian, one-world government that strips individual liberties.
The New World Disorder →
"Der Potatokopf"
Billionaire Der Potatokopf started the World Turd Forum to galvanize the Global eLeeks into promoting the New World Disorder and The Great Reboot.
Der Potatokopf →
"World Turd Forum WTF"
Every year the Global eLeeks meet at the World Turd Forum, an international 'stink-tank' sharing ideas to turn the world into a big giant turd.
World Turd Forum WTF →
"You Will Own Nothing"
You will own nothing... no house, no car, no privacy. You will be free from responsibility. You will be taken care of. You won't have to think for yourself.
You Will Own Nothing →
"Let Them Eat Cake!"
As long as it's full of high-fructose corn syrup, canola oil, partially hydrogenated fats, red dye #3, potassium bromate, MSG, BHA, BHT, nitrites, nitrates...
Let Them Eat Cake! →
"The World's Best Protein"
The Global eLeeks are busy buying up all the farmland so they can create a food shortage and then kill all the bugs to make BUG PROTEIN for the masses!
The World's Best Protein →
"World Health and Tyranny"
The WHAT directs health emergency responses, promotes healthier lives and aims to ensure the highest level of health for all Global eLeeks.
World Health And Tyranny WHAT →
"Obaaaaay...!"
You will follow orders. You have no free will. You must do as we tell you. We are weak stupid vegetables but we have more money and influence than you.
Obaaaaay...! →
"Ovis Virus"
A new dread disease, the Ovis virus, escapes from a scientific laboratory and its affliction causes the sufferer to bleat like a sheep instead of talk.
Ovis Syndrome →
"Ovis Vaccine"
The cure for the Ovis virus is a vaccine made from the urine of sheep that eat leeks. The main drawback... it makes the sufferer smell like an old barnyard!
Ovis Vaccine →
"Either Ur IN or Ur OUT!"
Everyone is required to get the Ovis vaccine. No one's quite sure what exactly is in that syringe but the main ingredient is sheep urine!
Either UrIN or UrOUT! →
"Vile Evil Devil"
Saul Fuhr III doesn't believe in God Almighty, but he sure does believe in the Devil Himself and ascribes to the bastardization of power.
Vile Evil Devil →
"The Scales Of Injustice"
There is no such thing as the Scales of Justice in this political world when the Scales of Injustice is far more profitable (according to the Global eLeeks)
The Scales Of Injustice →
"Senator Dick Tate"
Senator Dick Tate is like a dog being trained with promises of money and power. He is being curried by the Global eLeeks to win the future election!
Senator Dick Tate →
"The Senator's New Clothes"
Senator Dick Tate uses tax-payer money (of course) and hires Tatu the tattoo artist to design his campaign wardrobe with disastrous results!
The Senator's New Clothes →
"The Shadow Government"
The Reptilians in the Shadow Government lurk behind the curtains of power, whispering into the ears of the corrupt politicians and Global eLeeks.
The Shadow Government →
"The UN-United Nations"
This inter-governmental organization is 'supposed' to maintain global peace, security, cooperation, protect human rights and prevent conflict.
The UN-United Nations →
"The NGOs - Non Good Organizations"
Focusing on human rights, climate and health, NGOs are "non-profits" receiving government funding and run by cream-at-the-top siphoning "professionals".
The NGOs No Good Organizations →
"WikiLeeks"
Tweet! Tweet! Let's blow some whistles on the fraud and corruption pertaining to government officials and their unsavory co-horts in Allium County.
WikiLeeks →
"The Sword Of Damocles"
The ever-present peril hanging overhead by a thread... the constant threat of disaster and financial ruin that accompanies those wielding power.
The Sword Of Damocles →
"Knowledge Is Power"
Ignorance is NOT bliss when you use your free will indiscriminately and apathetically, letting the Global eLeeks take your power away from you.
Knowledge Is Power →
"The Poison Ivy League Universities"
Harvard, Yale and Princeton cannot even compete with the esteemed 'Leaves of Three' institutions of the Poison Ivy League university system.
Poison Ivy League Universities →
"Hardturd University"
Hardturd University far eclipses Harvard University with its storied and stellar alumni roster who have joined political ranks within the Global eLeeks.
Hardturd University →
"Porcupine Club"
The Porcupine Club is the most historic and elite social club at Hardturd University. Its Latin slogan is "Dum Vivimus Vivamus"
The Porcupine Club →
"The Pasty Pudding Club"
At each meeting of this collegiate social club, the members eat a porridge made from molasses and cornmeal that tastes like wallpaper paste.
The Pasty Pudding Club →
"The Scarlet Square"
The Scarlet Square is an illustrious and prestigious network of Hardturd alumni members who have infiltrated the upper echelons of the Alliuminati.
The Scarlet Square →
"The Scarlet Hardturds"
The Scarlet Hardturds is the name of the college sports teams at Hardturd University. Its sports rivals are the Stale University "Bullfrogs".
The Scarlet Hardturds →
"Stale University"
Yale University is like a kindergarten compared to the demands and rigors of other Poison Ivy League schools, most notably Hardturd University.
Stale University →
"Alpha Beta Pie Fraternity"
This long-standing fraternity is at the top of the Stale University social heap. Members like to lie around playing video games and ordering pizza pies.
Stale Bullfrogs →
"Bulb And Bones Society"
This secret society has spawned members in the highest echelons of the Alliuminati, the World Turd Forum and other sycophants in the political venue.
Bulb And Bones Society →
"Stale Bullfrogs"
Go Bullfrogs! Even with their notoriously bad badminton team, these Stale Bullfrogs can rip apart the Yale Bulldogs sports teams any day!
Stale Bullfrogs →
"Princess University"
Forget about Princeton... Princess University is the ultimate elite party school for pouty and pampered pretentious princes and princesses.
Princess University →
"Poison Ivy Club"
This eating club appeals more to the gourmands than the gourmets who attend Princess University. Only the least discerning palates are invited.
Poison Ivy Club →
"University Cottage Cheese Club"
Only the most epicurean gourmand can withstand the gastronomic rigors that membership in this exclusive eating and debating club entails.
University Cottage Cheese Club →
"Princess Tiger Cubs"
Oooh! Ouch! Ow! The lily-livered Tiger Cubs are babies when it comes to the rigors and disciplines of the team sports Princess University is famous for.
Princess University →
"In Gold We Trust"
To some people, the only god is GOLD. Money and power are more important than love and kindness. This makes the Devil Himself happy.
In Gold We Trust →
"The Luck O' The Leek"
The WHAT (World Health & Tyranny) wants to make money from misery and offers leek farmer Troy Tuckus an offer he can't refuse... or can he?
The Luck O' The Leek →
"In Gold We Trust"
To some people, the only god is GOLD. Money and power are more important than love and kindness. This makes the Devil Himself happy.
In Gold We Trust →
"The Golden Sheep"
Forget about worshipping the Golden Calf... go to the Leekville Bank and worship at the altar of the Golden Sheep (for a hefty admission price).
The Golden Sheep →
"The Bohemian Graveyard"
These lunatics like to congregate in Leekville Cemetery and dance around a giant vulture effigy with sheets over their heads while eating pizza. ▲
The Bohemian Graveyard →
"Weaving Spiders..."
The slogan of the Bohemian Graveyard lunatics is 'Weaving Spiders Don't Come Here' which means leave your baggage and gossip (and spiders) at home. ▲
Weaving Spiders... →
"The Minervan Vulture"
